


Tenderness (Where Is It?)

by undersail2013



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bittersweet, Complete, Episode: s09e06 Heaven Can't Wait, Ficlet, M/M, fanfiction gap B
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-08
Updated: 2014-01-08
Packaged: 2018-01-08 00:06:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1125982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/undersail2013/pseuds/undersail2013
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everything they want is right here</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"There. It ain't pretty, but it'll hold." Dean sat crouched at Cas' side, still cradling the bandaged hand in both of his. He wobbled, head still a little shaky from the Rit Zien love-tap that had sent him crashing into the wall; one hand darted out to steady himself against Cas' knee. He glanced up at his friend, perched hesitantly on the edge of Dean's bed, and almost flinched at the naked emotion in his eyes. "You're- your hand." Dean dropped his gaze, dropped a kiss into the upturned palm. "All better," he murmured.

Cas reached out his good hand to Dean's cheek, an echo of another moment, a moment from another lifetime. "Dean."

Strange how that one word never failed to say everything they left unspoken. Dean tilted his chin up, met Cas' eye. "Yes, Cas?" He understood, of course, knew what would happen next. Cas would bend down, catch Dean's lips, kiss him into oblivion. They'd wake up in a glorious tangle, the soft light of dawn peeking through the flimsy motel curtains and playing havoc with Cas' beautiful features, and Dean would be lost. Cas would reach for his phone to call his boss, and Dean would laugh and try to knock the device from his hand, insisting that Cas had much more important business to conduct with those fingers. The two of them would spend the whole day in bed; hell, a week, a month, the rest of their lives. And when they were good and ready, and not a moment before, they'd pack up the Impala and head home to the Batcave.

Except, then there was Zeke.

And so, when Cas rubbed his thumb over Dean's cheekbone, Dean pulled back, turned away his face.

"Dean?"

"Cas, I-" He shook his head, stood, his shoulders slumped and his hands at his sides, curled up tight. He sighed. "You take the bed. You must be exhausted."

Cas grabbed at Dean's wrist, but for once Dean was quicker. "Won't you-"

"I'm not going anywhere, Cas." His mouth experimented with a small smile, sadder than he'd intended. "It'll be like old times, remember? 'I'll watch over you.'"

Cas frowned and relented without protest. He unbuttoned his shirt and his jeans and shimmied free. If he was aware of Dean's hungry gaze, he said nothing. Just draped his clothes over the top of the dresser and plodded back to the bed. As he tugged the thin sheets over him, Dean dug his elbows into the rock-hard armchair and tried to get, or at least look, comfortable. Cas turned out the lamp.

“Good night, Cas.”

For several minutes, there was no reply. Then out of the dark, “Dean?”

“Yes, Cas?”

“Can I-” He huffed, uncertain how to continue. “Can I tell you something about April?”

It was Dean’s turn to stay silent.

Cas continued anyway. “My favorite part was ... not what you would think. Dean, when I was with her, with what I thought was her … It was the best sleep. I’ve never slept so well as that one night.” 

Dean’s reticence deepened to something like sulking. 

“I had wondered, and now I think I know. Do you understand why, Dean?”

“Why,” he repeated, neither answering nor asking.

“It’s the only time I ever slept with another person.”

Dean grunted.

“No, Dean, I don’t mean it the way you do. Slept. With. Another person.”

“What are you trying to say, Cas?” Dean asked thickly.

“Sleep with me,” he blurted.

A noise like a choked sob sounded in the dark, but Dean said nothing. There was a rustle of fabric and soft footsteps. The mattress dipped as Dean sat down. The knees bent behind him slid slightly forward to contact the small of his back. “Cas.”

Any further excuses he may have given froze in his throat as Cas wrapped his arms around Dean’s waist and dragged him down to the bed. He sat up then and curled his torso over Dean in order to adjust the sheet over their toes. 

“Where do you want me, Cas?” Dean breathed. “You move me where you want me.”

Cas slipped his good arm under Dean’s neck and settled onto his back, his heart tumbling as Dean rolled to face him and prop his head against Cas’ shoulder. A deep sigh said nothing and everything.

From the verge of sleep, Cas mumbled, “I want you here.”


	2. Say Something

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Damn these human emotions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not so much a chapter as a companion piece. Actually the inspiration for the first "chapter," this story started life as a ficlet-rant on a tumblr [post](http://last-url-in-tumbldom.tumblr.com/post/72603375484/destielsongoftheday-destiel-song-of-the-day)

Dean has been nothing but tender with Cas, patching him up, taking care of him, and yet he has said NOTHING. He has made no effort to bring Cas home. He has made no promises, nor has he outright refused. He has said nothing. And this song comes on. Just as Nora walks in the front door at the beginning of the swing shift, this song comes on. And he’s heard it before, he knows the words well enough, but never has it carried the same meaning as it does now. He can’t stop himself. He excuses himself quickly, stepping back to the far end of the storeroom, slumping to the floor and burying his face in his hands. He can’t stop himself from crying.

He knows it’s stupid. He knows he should get a grip on himself and stop acting like a, like a “girl” about this. Because for Heaven’s sake, it’s just Dean. Dean Winchester, the same asshole who’s been a thorn in Cas’ side more often than not over the past few years. Dean Winchester, the asshole whose hand lingered too long on Castiel’s knee as he kissed his palm better, and then turned his head away too abruptly when Cas looked him in the eye and thumbed his cheekbone. Dean Winchester, the asshole who left him here in fucking Idaho with nothing, who’s too much of a coward to say something.

"Say something, I’m giving up on you! I’ll be the one, if you want me to. I will swallow my pride! But SAY SOMETHING, Dean. I’m giving up on you."


End file.
